Finally Finished my Training

So the last two weeks have been quite painful, being taught what I already know. But today was the last day of it and I am ecstatic that I will get back to some real work tomorrow. The training consisted of talks and practical work, with assessed scenarios today. I didn't hate today as much as I thought I would. The scenarios were mainly for practice, but there was one that I was really dreading;

The scenario involved role play, and was titled 'The Confused Patient', and whilst I was doing other practical work I could hear the other groups struggling. The patient (portrayed by an actress) was a drunk and would not listen to a word you said, and we heard a lot of shouting. Sounded like a normal night in casualty. So when it came to our group, it's fair to say that I wasn't keen on doing it. We walked into the scene and were presented with a soiled (pretend!) bed and an assessor, so where was the patient? We thought she might be in the toilet. We shout through the door and don't get a response, so we let ourselves in and warned that we were doing so. There she is, sitting on the floor in hospital pyjamas with pretend faecal matter on her trousers. But wait, it can't be, can it? Lo and behold, the actress is in fact my boss. Sh*t.

It hit home that I really had to do this right, and impress. She was combative and confused and everything inbetween, but I managed to get her up off the floor and back into her bed. She wanted to get off the bed, and when I put the sides up on the bed she wanted to climb over. I tried to distract her by asking if she wanted a drink, to which she replied 'vodka'. I'll have to check, but I'm sure hospitals don't keep vodka in the drinks cupboard. On a different note, it has been known for patients to attempt drinking the alcohol hand wash. Mmmmm... yummy.

She escaped. She saw I was slightly distracted and she ran for it. B*llucks. The other members of the group just stood there, I ran after her. I caught her and tried to stop her, but my god she was determined. She found the button to let herself out, I didn't think she'd take it that far! She went into a room and we had her cornered, that's when the scenario ended. What a performance, she was very convincing.

So we got the breakdown on how we did... and... *drum roll*... 'Lumo, you were brilliant!'

Hoorah! I was the best. I was the favourite. I will conquer the world! Well, maybe not that last one. Yet.